everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
