So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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