I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
