Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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