New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if only i could text you this smell
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
