and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He shit in the fireplace
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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