oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
