I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
