he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
