i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
