I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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