Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
