"it" just moved
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
