Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
