then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
