Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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