I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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