apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
