we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
