wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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