i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
