He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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