thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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