She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
