Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pants are for mortals
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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