brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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