If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
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Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
