She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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