That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
