True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize