i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize