Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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