the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
