She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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