and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
