he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
