bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
