There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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