Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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