got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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