just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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