No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
