I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, beer. Big fan.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize