Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
