i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
