No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She needs sedatives and a leash
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
