why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
