So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
