actually, I'm a sock model
he thought i was a dude.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
