suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
