He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize