where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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