Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
