we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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