Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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