It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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