The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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