erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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