dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my shit smells like andre
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
