Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
