When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
