Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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