Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
