he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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