I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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