who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
