I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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