I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
