Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize