last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
this is an emotional support booty call
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
