I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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