Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
